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A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.
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A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
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A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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Admiration. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Being is desirable because it is identical with Beauty, and Beauty is loved because it is Being. We ourselves possess Beauty when we are true to our own being; ugliness is in going over to another order; knowing ourselves, we are beautiful; in self-ignorance, we are ugly.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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I think that a young state, like a young virgin, should modestly stay at home, and wait the application of suitors for an alliance with her; and not run about offering her amity to all the world; and hazarding their refusal. Our virgin is a jolly one; and tho at present not very rich, will in time be a great fortune, and where she has a favorable predisposition, it seems to me well worth cultivating.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man...who has no gills.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom ? and of whom only ? it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
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Wedding: a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged 1440 times a day.
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